The Faces In My Life
06.13.2005 - 10:00 am

me

: I'm one of the few kids that led a happier life after my parents' divorce. I grew up stubborn, skeptical, cynical, and pessimistic. But happy. I did typical experimentation with sex, drugs and rock n' roll at an untypical age. I'm now nineteen and pretty much done with the experimentation and very content with my life as a mature college student. I still have my "typicalness" at times: I can't decide on what I want to do with my life, I question everything, I have a problem with authority, I have my insecurities... wait, no I don't. But then again, I have some unusual qualities as well: I get along with my dad and his friends better than I get along with my own. I was diagnosed with manic depression/bipolar disorder after my special time with methamphetamines. I found Buddha and the power of intention and with it came the will to live. I haven't been depressed since. I have dreadlocks and facial piercings. I discovered discrimination when I moved to Hawaii and it was a real eye opener. Other than that, my life is traveling and the Renaissance Faire and I'm a sucker for a good slapstick book.

dad

: my best friend and the most awesome person ever. He's not just my dad, he's been a dad to everyone. I didn't get to know him until after my parents got a divorce and I learned some cool shit, like the fact that he's exactly like me... only... 30 years older and a man. I think the thing that bothers me the most is how my friends would come over to see my dad... and not me. Thanks guys.

mom

: I detested my mom when I found out she had an affair on my dad. We didn't talk for about two years and now we have a limited relationship. Limited by her stupidity. I don't mean this in a mean way. She's just not very bright and really naive for her age. I don't despise her anymore, but she's not my favorite person inthe world. We're good friends, but it's hard to consider her my mother.

Matthew

: Matthew is my uncle on my mom's side. He's her half brother from her dad's second marriage. I love Matthew in so many different ways. Because I was the only grandchild for the first 6 years of my life, Matthew became my best friend since I lived across the street from them for a while. Recently he came out of the closet and his parents seemed to disown him for a time (though things seem to be okay now). For that, I am very protective over Matmu (as I have called him since I was little) and want to make him feel loved and cared for at all times. He's living with his sister and her husband and their two kids right now and it seems to be a good environment for him. The only problem is his best friend Daniel who is shallow and superficial and very mean to Matthew and I want an excuse to punch him in the face. I worry about Matthew finding a good relationship with him around but I hope to change Matt's perspective on finding a good guy.

Jake

: Oddly enough, I met Jake over myspace and he was one of my first friends on the island because everyone at my school was a douche. Jake is a pretty fucking halarious guy but I hate him at the same time. I've never met anyone like Jake and for that he intrigued me, but fuck I hate him. Lol. I will never bring myself to rid him completely but sometimes I want to shoot him in the head. I have no idea if I'll see him again since I moved from Hawaii, but we'll see what happens.

Nick

: Nick is a little younger than me. He also found me on myspace. He's also in the punk scene and we ended up goin to some shows together and he turned out to be an awesome friend. His grandparents let me live with them and it allowed me to get to know Nick a whole lot better and he's basically turned into my little brother. I've taken him under my wing and protect him as I would any other "sibling" of mine. Nick's seriously the best ever. As of November 9, 2005 Nick has moved away to Reno. I hope to reunite with him once I move back to California. I miss my little brother.

Tattoo Gang

: Clean Sting Tattoo and Body Piercing. Good times. Nick was working here a while as an apprentice. Tony, the owner, is an awesome person and I love him, but supposidly a douche for a boss. Mike works here and he does Nick's tattoos. Very old school Sailor Jerry tats, Mike is one of my favorite people on the island. He's moving to California around the same time I am and I'm happy about this. Lief is the main piercer here and he is one funny mother fucker with a crude sense of humor that pisses almost everyone off. I love it. Also associated here is Aaron, Adam, and some other random people that come by... like regulars, etc.

Billy

: Me and Billy met in middle school when I transferred from Cobalt, in Victorville to Apple Valley Middle School. We immediately despised eachother. No idea where this hatred came from but it was mutual. We sort of made a truce at the end of junior year in high school when he broke up with his girlfriend whom he had plans of marrying and had a mutual friend, Jenny that liked to talk to both of us in the same vicinity. The following year we had a psychology class together and became best friends. He was probably the greatest friend I had ever known. We've told eachother things we don't plan on telling anyone else the rest of our lives. He taught me to respect myself without sex or drugs and I taught him that there are still caring people in the world. We'd both be goners, I guess, if we hadn't learned these lessons through dealing with the hardships. We really were not compatible as a couple, but I fell in love with him nonetheless. I had a really tough time with the breakup but have since become a new person.

Dawn

: wow. A lot can be said here. I grew up with Dawn since I moved to Victorville in second grade. She was the biggest bitch in elementary school and apart of the "cool group" that I decided I wanted to be in too. That group used and abused me and is probably the biggest shaping factor when it comes to my cold-heartedness about life. We got into a fight and didn't speak for a whole year. During this time I switched middle schools and life went on. Also during that time Dawn went through a huge change for she called me after a year and we began to hang out again. We became best friends until she ditched me for: Mary, then Dayna, then Jeska. But now we have more of a sister relationship and though we don't talk as much, we try to keep in touch as best as possible. We love and hate eachother at the same time (hence the sister thing) and I don't think I'd have it any other way.

Dayna

: Dayna Payna. We went to preschool together and didn't even realize it until half way through highschool. We got to know eachother real well for a time and I learned a lot about music and being myself. Dayna is a very interesting person and very unique. She's not the brightest crayon in the tree but definitely has the street sense to make up for it. She also carries a butcher knife in her purse.

Jen Uptmore (and Chris)

: I met Jennifer when I met all the others during Josh's Punk Days. I met her through Dawn and we used to hang out a lot driving around in her little car and listening to good music. I love Jennifer to death; she is the nicest person in the world with such a great sense of humor. I always feel really comfortable with her around and when other people are pissing me off, I feel I can always be around her and her boyfriend Chris and chill out. Jen and Chris have been together 5 years now and I love seeing them together, they have a really good relationship and I have really good vibes about them getting married. Chris is one funny guy and I feel just as comfortable around him as I do Jennifer.

Jeska

: Jeska is one of two of the greatest girls I've ever met. Before her, the only thing about girls I knew, is that they were backstabbing kaniving bitches. I never got along with females until after I met Jeska. At first I didn't know her at all except for "Dawn's friend." Then Dawn left her, like she left all of us, and me and Jeska got to know one another. We became very very good friends and I can count on her for anything. We ended up doing a lot of meth and a lot of cocain together and came out with a lot of crazy stories. I love her to death and want to take care of her like a mother. But I know she would never have it. She's a free spirit and does her own thing. Right now she's modeling and it's perfect for her. Also associated with her are her sister, Stacia, and her brother, Travis.

Justin

: Again, Justin is one of the old skool friends. I met him through Stevo one night when me and Dawn went to Silverado's graduation one year. When I first met him I thought he was pretty hot and his humor definitely made me attracted to him too. We ended up making out on the lawn of some mormon church like 5 (or 6?) years ago but that's as far as it went. I lost in touch with him as I did with so many others but we've been hanging out a lot since I moved back and I've really enjoyed his presence. He's still a funny ass fuck and though he's a bit angry, we usually have pretty good conversations. I'm glad to have him back in my life.

Laura

: Laura changed my life. Nuff said. =) NOT enough said. She is so goddamn funny I could pee my pants looking at her. Recently she discovered how to be proud of herself and respect herself and enjoy life and decided to shave her head and pierce her Jewish schnozz. She's undoubtedly the reason why I got addicted to piercings. And she also helped me during the toughest times with the "Billy situation" as it was known to be called. Definitely a huge asset in my meaningless life.

Lyle

: I met Lyle the Lion through Dawn my freshman year in highschool. He is the weirdest person I know by far. My best memories of him were going up to Wrightwood in his blue truck and drinking beer in the snow. He's a funny person and definitely influenced by his favorite person John Frusciante. I love Lyle, especially when he sings in a squeaky voice "Burgers are crazy." I think he and Dawn will get married one day... though Lyle kisses more boys than girls now, so who knows.

Mandi

: When I switched schools in middle school, Mandi was a leech. And I was her victim. She claims I got her into the punk scene but man I didn't want to have that title. She annoyed me up until senior year in high school. I went through phases of tolerating her and not being able to stand her. Finally we went to a show together and something about her humor gained a whole lot of respect from me and have since become very close. We have a lot in common - she's basically me 6 years ago. =) She's aiight.

Michael

: Michael, or Mike, was my first love. I met him through track season my last year in middle school and unintentionally gave him my phone number. He is the only person I've ever felt fully comfortable talking with on the phone and boy it shows. I think our shortest conversation is 3 hours long. We were seeing eachother for about 4 years off and on. I know for a fact that if I had not known him, I'd be dead or in jail. I still love him whole-heartedly and we are excellent friends.

Pifer

: Also known as Bryan. I finally got a good picture of him. We hung out a bit this summer. It had been awhile because he was in jail a lot. Pifer likes to steal cars and do drugs. Well not anymore, but he's gone to jail twice for those things. I met Bryan because his best friend was dating my best friend. And then me and Bryan ended up dating a few years after our friends' relationship ended. I have a love/hate relationship with Bryan. There are so many qualities that I love about him but he's so not right for me, just his lifestyle, and... even his personality to an extent. So our relationship was limted. Still, I cherish his friendship because I think he's great, but always mad at me for the things I do. I shun him one way or the other (unintentionally) and like now, he'll go months without talking to me...

Robbie

: Humina humina. WEIRD! Let's see, long story short. I met Robbie a long time ago. I think I was 13 at the time. I remember seeing him around when I was younger, but I only started getting to know him when me and Dawn began hanging out a lot the summer before highschool. He was in a band with Dawn's brother Josh, time period of "when Josh was punk rock." Me and Robbie ALWAYS had a good time together. We were always fuckin around and wrestling and bullshitting all day/night long -- WHENEVER we hung out. Then he disappeared (moved to Vegas) and the last I heard was he went into the Navy. Well October 2004 he found me on Myspace and we started talking every so often online and sometimes he'd call me. We're the flirtatious type, so I never thought too much about our "talking" until we started having crazy dreams about eachother and I realized I wanted to pursue a little more into the possibilites. So I tried meeting up with him SEVERAL times, and each time got messed up one way or another until FINALLY the gods smiled upon us and I flew out to Vegas for the weekend in November 2005 and we had a GREAT time. Since then things got steadily more serious and in February he found out he was going to get transferred to San Diego. He moved back in April 2006 and in May we decided to give a relationship a shot. Things have been fucking great since.

Stephanie

: Billy's new girlfriend. She came out of fucking thin air and flipped my world upside down when Billy noticed her. Me and Billy were working things out, not necessarily to get back together, but to the point where we were both emotionally stable. Well when Stephanie came along, he snapped into stability and I was left in the dust. I never disliked her but I was not a happy person when she came around. She made the breakup between me and Billy a million times harder than it had to be and it's still hard for me to look at her straight in the eye. I like her personality and her wit. She has a very interesting mind and it's been interesting getting to know her through countless amount of emails, a phone call, and a visit to the islands. Knowing Billy as well as I do, this is the girl he's probably going to marry.

Steve-O

: Steve is awesome. I saw him be a man whore getting with all the girls in my group (except me of course). I saw him jump off a two story house naked. I saw him on my hammok in my backyard very night for an entire summer. That summer was the best summer in the entire world. We introduced Stevo to beer. Me, him, Dawn, Lyle, Nathan, and Billy (not the Billy mentioned above) were on top of the world. Then he got with Jeska and I don't know what happened but he changed for the worse. However, these past few years, he's changed back and it wasn't until I moved to Hawaii that we became extremely close. I love Stevo like a brother -- and his brother Greg is pretty damn cool too. =)

Summer

: Summer is so awesome! Her and [Dawn's brother] Josh were pretty good friends and that's how I met Summer. Her and Robbie were best friends too, so when I hung out with Robbie back in the day, Summer was never far. She was ALWAYS so nice to me and I really appreciated that when I was young becuase of how self-concious and shy I was. That's why when I saw her on myspace I didn't hesitate to add her as my friend even though I had not seen her in 6 or so years because I knew she would remember me. She was one of the first people I saw when I moved back to California and we hung out a lot while she was in California for a few weeks. She's going to school in NY for dentistry and I'm relly proud that she's doing something like that. She loves NY and wants to live there longer but she also loves her friends in SoCal, so it's been tough for her to decide where to start up her career. I can't wait until she comes back out to Cali so we can chill more.

Terri

: Terri is the other one of the two greatest girls I've ever met. I met her through my friend Dayna while they were best friends and have since been so envious of her wit, intelligence, and beauty. She is the most fantastic person to be around and a fun person to talk to, but I enjoy listening to her far more than talk (mostly because she is far more intelligent than I). I love this girl to death and would do anything she asked in a heartbeat.

Thomas

: Thomas Teal keepin it real. I met Thomas through Dawn. He, Robbie, & Summer I classify under a special group of friends of "Josh's punk rock days." Josh is Dawn's brother and before he got into meth, he was the coolest fucker on the planet. He's the one that got me and Dawn into punk when we were wee elementary lasses and he and his friends are probably the biggest shaping factor of all aspects of my life. I was hanging out with them during the stage of my life when I was weening away from my parents and family and it's a vital time in any child's life: peer influence. I got lucky in that these "peers" (though several years older than me and dawn) were good people. Kick backs, beer and weed were the worst of their sins and I basically had the best time spending the night at Dawn's every night for the whole summer. Thomas introduced me to CKY2K and raspberry vodka. We had a lot of good times over the years listening to music, dropping E and goin to shows. I've gotten really close to him since I moved to Hawaii and we help eachother out with depression from time to time. He introduced me to Charles Bukowski and I introduced to him Buddha. He's a great friend and I thik we'll only get closer throughout our life.

Kelly & Marjhani

: I seriously cannot say enough about these two. My summer would not have been the same without them. I met Marjhani and Kelly at the Renaissance Faire the year I worked (2004). I always saw Marie (a.k.a.) in front of our booth, guiding people to come in our place (well, Desiree's place). She was also working the Teas & Spices booth that her husband Kelly was found yelling out "TEAS AND SPOICES!" And for that, Billy really took to Kelly. Marjhani is a bellydancer, and also took to Billy through his drumming. She called him "Blue Eyes" or something like that. Me and Billy were always very fond of the two of them for their personality, beauty, and charisma. This summer(2005), however, I met up with the two of them the last day of faire and went to their apartment for some drinks and a little kickback. Zac was over there a lot, so that's how I went over. When Zac left for the summer, I had gotten close enough with them to where I'd go by myself (anytime I visited Dawn in San Diego, their house was a pit stop). They turned out to be my best companions last summer and we've had some crazy experiences with eachother. There are no words to describe my love for them. Lifelong friends for sure. I can't wait till next Faire season!!!

Josh!!

: Ah yes. I added him on my Myspace friends by accident because I thought I knew him. Turns out he's Colorado resident and THE COOLEST GUY EVER. We have a lot to talk about, a lot in common, and he is just one of the coolest people I've come to know. I really admire his personality and his intelligence and common sense and his feelings toward spirituality. He's engaged to be married now and I think it's great he finally found the love of his life, though I admit, I'm a tad jealous! I think it would be fin to meet him some time because we'd probably have a blast on random adventures.

Sean

: Sean seeked me out on myspace and I was already trying to keep in touch with so many people that I really didn't want to give him the time of day at first. This was right after I met Jake, so I really just wanted to talk to him on AIM. But then when I finally decided to actually join the conversation and give him a chance, it turned out that I only wanted to talk to HIM and who is this Jake person anyway? Lol. Me and Sean bonded over politics and music - my two favorite subjects. He knows a lot about both and that made me really happy. I like our deep and philisophical conversations the best and he's an all around kick ass person. I ended up visiting him in San Antonio when I went to Tejas to visit my family and I had an awesome time meeting his friends; one becoming my penpal. Good times.

yesterday - tomorrow