One last cry
02.24.2005 - 12:05 am

Well I had a good cry the other night. First in a long time. I was upset becuase Billy managed to dance around not watching a movie with me becuase "he had to see about school" yet all he did was talk on the phone with stephanie. And THEN decided to drop out the next day, so it's not even like he couldn;t stay up late (which is what he was suggesting). And we all know he stayed up till 2am on the phone anyway. "Mr. I don't like te phone, it seems cold." Yeah, I remember when we had the phone thing in common. Nope. Anyway, that just spawned a whole bunch of "i'm not good enough"thoughts and "why not me" thoughts and "i'm never gonna find anyone" thoughts. Yeah I didn't feel so great. But I'm better now. And though I tried to stay mad at Billy the next day... inevitably, I woke up and forgot about how sad and mad I was. Sleep does that to me. Easily forgive and forget. i love that quality and hate it at the same time. fuck.

Anyway, it's 12:30 am and i took a long nap. i need to write my papers. fuck

yesterday - tomorrow