Pifer, Weinshank, Montoya
07.12.2005 - 11:00 pm

Pifer called me this afternoon and I finally got to hang out with him. I was really happy since I've been trying to get ahold of him for a few weeks. When he picked me up he had Amanda in the car, pregnant as ever. All I could think about was how much that could have been me. Thankful and depressed at the same time. I hate and love Bryan. So easy to see why I left him but so easy to see why I fell for him. So weird. So different. So many things. I'm a different person now, but at the same time all I could think about was kissing him. Why? I don't understand my own feelings. So odd. Amanda's good to him, I'm very happy about that. But it's so weird because I really can't see them together. Seems like they'd always have a brother-sister type relationship. A friendly type .But having a kid together? Can't really vision it. Even when he's around her, they don't seem so much like a couple and all I noticed was how compatible we were. We'd laugh at the same jokes, enjoy the same music. It just seems odd. Like Daivd and Meghan. I see them together but he seems (seemed?) so right with Dawn. I dunno. Tonight all I could think about was hanging out with dawn. I wanted to go see her tonight. I'm glad I got to see Bryan but we both wished we could have spent more time together. Odd. I miss Bryan. I'm glad he called tonight. If you can't tell, I've had a lot of beers tonight. I talked with Meghan a lot too. I want to talk to Dawn. Not that me and Meghan had anything worth mentioning to Dawn to talk about but I like MEghan and she was nice to talk to and I think Dawn should give her a chance. I'd like to go over more and talk to her about the bible, it was interesting that she brought up the subject. I'd like to see David more becuase he's awesome. I miss Bryan. It felt like old times going over there like Iwas going over as his ole lady, forgetting he's having a kid with someone else. Amanda? So odd. Maybe I'm just a lonely girl. It always happens though. I remember why I hated Bryan but when I'm around him I remember why I loved him. Weird. I got to see Mike Montoya tonight too. I'm happy about that. I'm happy about a lot of things. Or maybe I'm just drunk. . . .

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