Magical Mystery Tour
10.31.2005 - 12:09 pm

I have been in a weird mood lately. I haven't been in a mood ofr any particular music. I look at my cds with a blank stare. BLEHHH. I hat feeling this way, because my life uh kinda r e v o l v e s around music.

So I decided to look in my older album and I was flipping through pages and took one glance at "Abbey Road" and knew I had to listen to it. I popped it in and it was PERFECT. I drew a faerie as I listened and it was so friggin awesome.

Well, when that cd ended, I figured I should listen to more Beatles, but I don't know their albums very well, so I wasn't sure what to listen to next to continue this great mood. I put in A Hard Day's Night, but it was nothing I was looking for. Way too cheery. I flipped through songs and the mood was all off, I needed something a little more mellow. So then I put in Sgt. Pepper. I now think that is my favorite Beatles album. Not just Beatles, my favorite album ever. I'm sooo diggin on it. I went to sleep with it playing. It was fanntastic. And today I began my day with it. Wonderful. After that, I put in Revolver. Again, perfect. Such a good album. Now I'm listening to Magical Mystery Tour and it's friggin great.

The BEST part, is how I can listen to this shit, and not get sad AT ALL over Billy. I was listening to "Lonely People" and it was the greatest thing ever. That same song a year and a half ago always made me ball my eyes out. But I was so happy listening to it. I AM SO HAPPY TODAY. And at the same time, the more I listen to the Beatles, the more I feel I understand Billy. Beatles are a part of his personality and to listen to them, just makes me know him better. I completely understand why he loves them so much. They are him. He is them. And we are all one. And there is no such thing as death.

I think people feel that way about me and Fugazi. Before I left Hawaii for the summer, I gave Jake my Fugazi mixes and I said "Here, after you listen to these, you will know me better." And that's how I feel when I listen to that shit. This is me. Beatles are Billy.

Every song sounds so good. I AM SO HAPPY TODAY.

I kind of don't like being this happy though. Like extreme depression, when I feel extremely happy, it almost hurts my body. I can't take it. My cheeks hurt from smiling. My chest hurts because I can't breathe. It's all too much. My favorite is when I'm in a very calm, mellow, content-like state. But this wild happiness is too much for me to handle. AHH! I AM SO HAPPY TODAY!

Good thoughts. Fuck stress. I think things are going to work out. I feel great. Tonight will be fun.

And I love the Beatles.

"You're mother should know."

yesterday - tomorrow