Nick moved away today
11.08.2005 - 12:25 pm

So Nick left the island today. Moved to Reno. That little bitch. I thought I'd cry at the airport. I thought I'd be a lot more broken hearted than this. But I really don't feel anything. At first I was even psyching myself up to be sad. But then I thought "What's the point?" And then I found out I Was just doing it the other way, psyching myself up to not care. Then I realized how easy it is to make yourself think and feel anything you fucking want. I'm trying honestly to have no bias one way or the other and just feel genuinely... but I always catch myself repeating in my head "I don't care I don't care I don't care" or "I'm sad I'm sad I'm sad" and that repitition is the psyching up (or down I guess). I'm guessing Buddhism can help in this situation. I should meditate. Anyway, point is, Nick is gone and I'm not sure how I feel about it. And moral of the story: Life is definitely what you make it.

But it'd be fun to be a little bitch all the time and just pass it to the excuse of "My friend left me, so I'm sad (aka being a little bitch)."

=) but I won't.

yesterday - tomorrow