Worst Night of Sleep EVER
12.09.2005 - 8:46 am

UGH! UGH UGH UGH UGH! I don't know man, but I honestly think I have never had a worst night of sleep. First, not that it usually bugs me, and it's not even that it really BUGGED me last night either, but Maggie was on the phone until gawd, at least midnight, maybe longer. And like I said, it didn't so much BUG me, but I was already having a tough time falling asleep, and it was just not helping. She at least turned off the light at some point, which helped a little. But I don't think I even fell asleep until almost 2am. It was horrid. I could NOT get comfortable AT ALL. No matter what I did, NOTHING felt good.

THEN, when I DID finally get to sleep, I was bombarded by dreams, so it's not like I got good sleep anyway. I had a dream that I was at Robbie's for Xmas and his whole family was there and I was meeting everyone, like his brother's family and stuff, and I think me and Robbie were engaged or something, or maybe just seeing eachother, I don't know. That dream was okay, but it still felt really stressful, maybe becuase I was trying to impress everyone or something, so it wasn't the best dream since I was so stressed out during the whole thing.

And then I had another dream where I was with Mike (I don't know his last name, singer for Extra Stout Mike) and we went to the beach and stayed at some condo thing. And we were supposed to be romantically involved I think. And THAT was stressful because it felt wrong. I mean... NO, yanno? And also we were being chased by the mafia or something along those lines, so shit still sucked.

WORST DREAM EVER -- happened last or in nthe middle, I don;t know, probably in the middle or even first and might have been the cause of all the stress in the other dreams. ANYWAY, went like this. My ENTIRE family, and I mean ENTIRE, was PISSED off at me for moving back to Victorville. Wherever I went, if one of my family members was there, it was nothing but dirty looks and TENSION. It was like everyone was about to explode, but kept it inside, and so the tension was unbearable. FINALLY, my aunt Hollie and my grandma Trudy just SNAPPED and hollie threw something at me and then ran after me and was crying and scraming and hitting me and saying how much i ruined everything and how I was going to ruin her daughter's life and I had all these empty promises and her daughter hated me because of it. But the fact that she was screaching at me and crying just ugh. It was horrible. Heidi was mad at me, Greg, EVERYone in my family. Even my DAD. Then Pifer came over to my house and HE was pissed off at me for a whole other reason. EVeryone kept coming to my house and people were just so pissed. Hollie wouldn't look at me when she had to give me a ride somewhere. Like, she put up a BARRIER in her car so that the driver's seat and the back seats were cut off. She just was not happy at all. And her daughter Michelle just didn't want anything to do with me and if I tried giving her something she'd just look at it and wouldn't even acknowledge me.

So then after those dreams (and during) I kept tossing and turning. It felt like ever 5 minutes I'd switch over to the other side of my body. It felt like the tossing and turning went on for eternity.

The time I finally was able to relax and settle into sleep occured the SECOND I heard my first alarm go off. I wanted to cry. I just layed there for 1/2 hour and got the only sleep that occured throughout the entire night.

Horrible.
Horrible.
Horrible.

yesterday - tomorrow