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Tattoo Party and an upcoming hardship Well. I went to Marjhani and Kelly's for a tatoo party this weekend with artists Lauraine and Dino. They are some of the most awesome people I've ever met. I LOVE THEM! They were so great to hang out with all weekend. So I figured there wasa possibility of getting inked, but i wasn't sure if I was going to. I was leaning toward more not getting one and just checkin things out when I intended to go. What really inspired me to get one was the praise for my idea I had. Everyone seemed to think it was such a fucking cool idea, that I got really siked about it and decided it was a go. So I talked to Lauraine about it being possible and she drew it up and I wrote the lyrics for her to do in an awesome handwritten style and she made the stencil and I said, OKAY! I was nervous if only because I hear nothing but horror stories. Dawn telling me "it feels liek a knife cutting through you" Well I braced myself and watched her make the first stroke, turned away and thought "that's it?" Nothing what I expected. AND I FUCKING LOVE IT! Seriously such an AWESOME feeling. The entire forearm did not hurt whatsoever. COMPLETELY bareable and really fucking fun. My favorite part was getting close to the crease of my arm. It tickeled in a really weird way and it was great. So I wasn't sure if she was going to outline the stars/moon fisrt or just go right to shading around it. I thought maybe it was shading because there was no pain and the outline would hurt more. Nope, she was doing the outline and I loved it.  After that I thought "okay, now it's going to be an outline needle over fresh ink, THIS is going to be the part that hurts." NOTHING. It all felt friggin amazing.  With these Crass lyrics from "Big A, little a":
Annnnd I fucking loved the way it turned out. I'm uber stoked. Lauraine is the best. So the next day I really wanted more. It was just so great, I decided to do another on my [other] forearm (seriously best place ever) And I got an OM. =)  - - - - - - - - - - - - Well I come home Monday morning. My dad's already in a shitty mood over school and probably me not coming home or calling in the past few days annnnd that's when I told him. He said he lost respect for me and he thinks I'm short-sighted and unwise. He asked to see them and he was really pissed it was so big and in an obvious place. He said he's never been so disappointed with me in his life (even more-so than when he found out I was doing speed and cocain and even questioned whether or not I even quit using drugs). So he continued to bash me and tell me how stupid of a thing I did. Told me I just LOWERED the VALUE of my COLLEGE DEGREE. Told me that everything I've been working for will be reduced and possibly destroyed. He said I fucked up my life and that I showed him I had little to no wisdom. When he talks to me I feel the size of an ant. But when he's away, I still feel good as FUCK about what I did. I don't think he can bring me down and I think he'll grow accustomed to it but I think it will take a lot of time, possibly years. What makes me laugh is that he knows I'm NOT unwise and that I'm NOT short-sighted. I think when the steam blows off he'll realize why I got them and what I see in them and that it has nothing to do with him and that he's in a different generation/era that doesn't feel the same as my generation/era. And that they are looked at quite differently these days than he knows to be his opinion. He needs time, and that's fine, but I just created an epic battle in my house. Things will be increasingly difficult for months (maybe years) and yanno, I'm kinda fine with that. Oddly enough, and this may sound masochistic, but I am enjoying the fact that I am making my life a bit harder merely for the fact that I get to execute my new-found philosophy and attitude on life. My Buddhism, my Zen, and my love. Finally I get to see how much I can stand up to shit and see if my new philosophy prevails where I still feel content and happy and I am no longer depressed. It will be hard. But it's needed. And the fact remains that the ball is still in my court. I am in control. I am not being overwhelmed by an unexpected. I AM IN CONTROL. And that feels good, no matter the hardship. |