Want Some Cheese w/ That Whine?
10.19.2006 - 6:50 pm
This will be an entry of complaints. Some of them are definite. Some up in the air. Some take with a grain of salt and others I need a really big hug next time you see me.
Thesis: I'm a financially poor failure of life.
Ok, I'm poor. I was doing so well. I was finally catching up. I was going to have plenty of money in my bank and still be able to pay off my loans, pay bills, help around the apartment with food, etc, and even help out my dad a little bit (and possibly buy myself the mp3 player I've been dreaming about for years?)
Then life being typical came up and bit me in the ass. Most related to my car oddly enough. It goes like this:
CAR
Smog check: $58
Registration: $68
New Brakes: $189 (not including whatever labor fees there are)
Getting towed today: $224
NON CAR RELATED
Ticket to Las Vegas: $153.10
(november) College Applications: $120 (pending, RE: Complaint #2)
And then there's the usual $20 in gas per week. And $160 in bills per month not to mention Hawaii Pacific University is having me begin my loan payments this month, and that will be an addition $40 a month for the next 8 years of my life. And I was hoping that because I was finally getting on track that I could finally get some car insurance, however I don't know when I'll be able to fork over another $80-$100 a month for my stupid stupid car.Complaint #2:
School.
I'm probably (80% chance) NOT going to be eligible to transfer to any of the UC's next Fall and most certainly not to UC San Diego. One, I won't finish my Lower Division courses by this coming Spring (Or even summer) but more importantly, I may never be able to go because I will most likely exceed the 90 unit limit of transferrable credits.
My goal: To email whomever I need to for more information on if it's even worth a shot to spend $60 per campus to apply to. More than likely they will laugh in my face as I try to explain to them "I'm a serious student, I swear!" as my transcripts show otherwise.
My other goal: To find out what other colleges (California or other I guess) would be good for my major of choice and pray to God that he will give them the grace to want to let me in.
Complaint #3 - #whatever:
I'm gaining more weight than I'm comfortable with. I'm not taking care of my self at all, physically or mentally.
Work is going to start sucking realll bad when holidays start.
I'm tired and lazy all the time.
American Hardcore doesn't look like it's playing on the date it said on the website but actually the week after which messes EVERYthing up and I probably won't be able to catch it in the theater. Coming out oin DVD? I hope so.
I have to ask my family for money and it's going to kill me to do it because no one in my family really has money they can afford to give. I hate asking for favors. I hate burdoning people. I feel very selfish and money-grubbing and pathetic and ridiculous.
P.S. on that subject: Is it horrible that your boyfriend and Grand-ma help put you through school way more than your parents do?
Anyway, conclusion: I'm not really in a whiney mood. And I don't have the urge to cry about it all yet. I don't think a lot of it hit me. Like the towing thing. I haven't even gotten upset about that yet. I hope I save my tears for the sap story I'm going to give the whore that towed my car because I'm going to make her feel bad. It's horrible karma on my part. So I might do some thinking before I execute... anyway. I could have made this blog a lot more horrible sounding, but blah whatever whatever whatever.
BTW: Fugagi's "Instrument" soundtrack [to their DVD] is THE best shit in the world to listen to right now in this mopey-blah-I-don't-give-a-shit-about-my-life mood. "Lusty Scripps" is a great fucking song. I wish I could find it on myspace to put it on my profile. Oh well.
yesterday - tomorrow