BREAKTHROUGH
03.21.2007 - 11:52 am

So I picked up Robbie from the airport on Tuesday (yesterday). Kind of immediately he noticed I was... on edge. He kept prying, but I didn't really want to talk while driving. But I finally told him I just felt... lost since I did a lot of thinking over the past two weeks and I was still unsure of what was happening. What was going to happen.

I think I said some other stuff but it was all centered around me feeling... unsure and, of course, in the dark.

Then he spoke.

He told me the night before that he and his mom spoke but he wouldn't tell me about it until we were in person. And I thought that would be better.

So now we were in person and he told me that his mom said she thought he loved me and just maybe didn't realize it yet. She told him the things she noticed about him while with me -- how happy he really was. And she just wanted him to realize what he had (is this woman great or what?)

And then Robbie told me about what he and his friend Fatima talked about and she made him realize what he was doing to me -- the whole leaving me in the dark thing and how he was maybe too focused on himself and didn't concern my feelings at all.

And he told me due to the thinking he was doing that he figured out he wanted to work things out between us -- make us work.

So I hope I'm not getting the wrong end of the stick on this one and I hope that he means he wants us to stay together through his move to Vegas. And we brought up my going to Santa Cruz and also out of the country. But I told him not to think about moving out of America yet, but Santa Cruz was closer to home.

I told him that he'd be the only person that could hold me back from going to Santa Cruz (not that he WANTS to hold me back, he'd want me to go if I wanted to) -- but I told him that I can't make a decision until I even find out if I'll get accepted (which I don;t think I will) -- but if I did, it would completely depend on our status as a couple and what was happening at that point. And I told him that that info kind of gives him some insight on how I feel about him.

Anyway.

That conversation completely made my day. And I don't know if there's other stuff I still need to talk to him about since we covered a lot of bases with that one -- including my feelings of "specialness."

I'm just so glad to be out of the dark... knowing he still cares about me. Knowing he still wants to be with me. I'm still unsure of this whole "love" thing, but it's not like I've made a huge effort to tell him that I love him either, so it can wait.

All in all. I'm really glad his mom... his parents really like me. I'm so glad his dad is alright. And I really can't wait to spend more time with the both of them.

Happy. Happy. Happy. ^_^

yesterday - tomorrow