Mommy, why does my immune system suck?
03.02.2005 - 11:21 am

I spent ONE night with sick people the next morning I woke up with a scratchy throat and DEATH written on my forehead. wtf.

YESTERDAY: We walked around a whole fucking bunch. Billy and Jussie did tax stuff and then Billy went and saw Jan, whom decides whether they "got" the place or not. She gets really rude with Billy and tells him to call at 4:30pm. It is around 12pm at this time. So we walk to Ala Moana because the boys want a nice restaurant-type place to eat, get refills, and chill. The walking sucked. I was tired. We decide to eat at The Spaghetti Factory. It sucked. The atmosphere was bitchin, but the food was... well Buca di Beppo's is a hell of a lot better. So, this could be our "goodbye-dinner" even though it's not really dinner. There is a chance that when Billy calls that she'll say no and then Billy and Justin will be off to California that night. So does the food sucking mean something? Is this a sign? Is it a sign that too much bad shit has happened on the island for them to stay? Or does it mean that because it was so horrible they'll stay becuase we can't leave eachother on a bad meal! I don't know. I wish there really were signs and foreshadowing.

So 4:30 comes around, billy calls, I guess she tells him to call at 5pm. That bitch. Well I had to go becuase i had a class to go to. I had 4 bags of CRAP and all of them heavy as fucking shit on my BACK and it sucked. They walk me to the bus stop. We wait as long as possible before Billy has to call back. I got a second hug from Justin in my life. I wanted to draw it out and cry and tell billy I hated him and loved him at the same time, but... we didn't have time for that. I got on the bus around 5:05 -- got to my school 5:25. I go to class at 6pm. Get out at 8. Go to my friend Dave's dorm. Stay up watching comedy stand up till 1am. Pass the fuck out. Woke up at 6am feeling like crap. Toilet wouldn't flush, thank god i didn't have to take a shit. I haven't showered or changed my clothes in 4 days. I'm in the computer lab right nigger now writing about all this... I'm tired, sick, groggy, depressed and very lonely. I hope to god i get that apartment. I do not want to live in the dorms. The people scare me because they are not cool in any way. It's a bunch of high school drama crap. The ONLY cool fuc kis Dave who I'm staying with and thank god for that. Thank god i even have a friend to stay with, or i mighta been going to california too. Oh yeah, so I don't have a fucking phone. Billy has no phone. For all I know they're either in a hotel in Waikiki or in fucking california sleeping. NO CLUE.

I miss my best friend. I miss Billy. I miss Justin, too, actually. All I've been thinking about is him doing his "roar" thing he does when he's jokingly angry and it makes me laugh. I'm sad. I'm sad.

yesterday - tomorrow