Should I stay or should I go now?
08.22.2005 - 10:02 am

I'm in such a beautiful place. But with no friends, how happy can I be here? It's nice being by the beach and watching the sunset and people having BBQ's and playing volleyball and having a good time. I wish all my friends could come live here with me. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time meeting people on this island. I've never had a problem being social, but here. . . I just feel like I don't belong. Yet I'm so comfortable and I feel so at home. I just miss my California friends. I feel so alone here. Everyday I feel so alone. I go everywhere alone, I do everything alone. And even when I hang out with my total of 5 friends, I just feel they're not on the same level as I am -- just wanna drink and party 24/7 -- so I still feel alone. I just wish I had some good friends to help me. Looking for an apartment alone is such a bitch and I feel so inexperienced. And I don't have the comfort of time. . . so little time. So stressful. I'm all alone. I guess I've always been a "lone wolf" tupe of person . . . I hate asking for help, I hate depending on people, etc. etc. etc. But sometimes I wish I had some good companionship here....

So alone...

I think this tattoo parlor will help me meet new people... maybe if I got a job too. I just hope I'm able to really settle down one day. =/

One day...

Today's theme song:

Tom Petty - Walls

Some days are diamonds
Some days are rocks
Some doors are open
Some roads are blocked

Sundowns are golden
Then fade away
But if I never do nothing
I'm coming back some day

Cause you got a heart so big
It could crush this town
And I can't hold out forever
Even walls fall down

All around your island
There's a barricade
It keeps out the danger
Holds in the pain

And on top of it all... I hope I can save up $500 to go to Cali in October for Wasted Fest. The sad thing about it, is I'm more concerned with seeing Greg than those bands. I'm such a fucking loser.

Sometimes.

yesterday - tomorrow