Shitface Jr. -- R.I.P.
09.08.2005 - 1:00 pm

Last night, I had to text Greg because I was sick of not talking to him. I simply said "Hey stranger" and he replied with "Clams died." I called because I just coudn't believe it. He was hanging with Paul and I gues they had just found out about an hour ago. The way they found out was that he never showed from work. They called all around and it was the police department who gave the news. Car accident.

I hung up with Greg, fell to my knees and started to sob. Why? Why Justin? Why Nathan? Two ofthe most awesome people. Justin was so charasmatic. So funny. And his baby is due in less than a fucking week. Me and Dawn just saw that bastard at the mall, and he seemed so responsible and ahppy he was having a kid. He really had his life in order...

When I figured out that I'd be moving back to California in January, Justin was one of the first people I thought of. I was one of the first people he told about his baby and we talked about me being "Cool Auntie Dread." So knowing I would be moving back, I couldn't wait to take up that role. Erica had just told me about her bun in the oven a few days ago and we were both talking about Cassandra and Justin and how their baby wouldn't be too much older and they could play together. Yeah, thye can still play together, but Erica's baby will never know about their cool Uncle Clams. Canssandra's child will never know their father. How fucked up is that? That's ALL I could think about after hearing the news. What if I had never known my father? I cry, even now as I write this. Weird memories. I was there when he lost his virginity at the Showcase. Haha, FUCK. I miss him so much.

It's weird, because after reading Noah Levine's Dharma Punx, it's like I expected this to happen. Right in the beginning of the book he said half the people he was goingto mention had died already. I figure, my friends hold a pretty similar lifestyle, and we're about the age where we'll start passing away -- either from our "Live Fast, Die Young" motto, or even stupid shit like a car accident.

So who's next?

I don't even want to imagine.

yesterday - tomorrow