Weekend #6
05.15.2006 - 9:42 am

I had an eventful weekend. Lots of "action." Saturday I wanted to buy a candle from the candle carving place that Erin works at for my mom on Mother's Day and then me and Erin walekd around to get her some good shoes. We stopped by Oojam and I see Justin. We decide to do the 12:00 Bellydancing show and afterwards we talked more and he told me his plans on the OC and Serin and his ex-wife and getting a boat and all that jazz. He asked me if I wanted to move in with him and take care of Serin and he talked about all this cool stuff we could do, etc etc. We want to have movie night with eye-opening cinamatic adventures and also have a Porn-n-Sushi night. So I told him I'd think about it and he said if I wasn't going to move in with him that he's going to move into a loft.

So after that I go back to Nomadia. Nathaniel comes by and he has another wire dragon he's working on and I said hi. And we start chatting and he says something along the lines of "you don't understand how big of a crush I have on you and Stephanie and you're both equally unavailable." And he's being all cute about it in the way only Nathaniel can be. I love his personality and his humor and his presence. But it's funny, because I try so hard, but I cannot visualize him on a romantic level. I just LOVE him to death but almost like a little kid, like I want to coddle him and kiss the top of his head and take care of him. He's just so friggin sweet. So he's telling me how pretty I am and I just get all awkward since I don't take compliments well. I just don't know how to respond to shit like that. And I forget what the context was, but I mention my schooling and Nathaniel asks what I'm going for. I tell him "astrophysics" and he goes "no fucking way" and he tells me he's obsessed with the subject. So we start talking about theoretical physics and quarks and gluons and different theories on black holes, the universe in general, humans, earth, life, etc etc etc. I always love finding people I can express myself to on that level. So I don't know if it was because I didn't have Jautin there or if I am just being overflattered with Nathaniel's attention, but I just couldn't get enough of that guy this weekend.

Sunday was pretty similar in the "action." I got dressed early. I saw that my favorite hawker was at the Tobac booth and I started flittering about with Deborah's fans. I totally hear the cat calls "yeah baby, move that air" hahahaha. I totally have a secret crush on this guy because of his voice. His tone, his enunciation, the pitch, everything. And he's CUTE on top of that. But it's a total 12-year old school girl crush, something that seems ridiculous to pursue, so don't get me wrong, not like I really like him, just have an uber big 12-year old school girl crush on him. There's another guy at that booth I have a similar crush on too, but I don't know his name. And the name-less guy totally caught me spyin on their booth one weekend "Yeah, I see you lookin for the cute guy." I said "meep!" haha.

Nathaniel comes in the beginning of the day with another dragon he's started and tells me it's mine. Hooray! It's the coolest one ever too I love it. So all day I'm like goin back and sayin hi to him. And I'm playing around out front because Saturday I discovered that grabbing people's attention and playing with fans and flirting with all the visitors puts me in a really good mood and makes a lot of people flood into the booth. So I wanted to do that Sunday too. There were two other girls there that day and Deborah, so I thought I get people in, you sell them clothes. I just feel like I haven't been doing that great of a job selling myself to people and being my usual bubbly self to be like "oh please let me help you get dressed, oh allow me to try this on you, oh that looks fantastic, let's try this too." BLAH BLAH BLAH BKLAH LBLKSFKLJ I'm sick of it. I just feel like it's pointless because they never buy the clothes and then I have to rehang all the bullshit I'm just bored. So I wanted to play in front and try to get people inside and NOT help them find what they need. I just feel short with them lately (them = customers). Like "::heavy sigh:: guh, you wanna try that? ::Sigh:: uhm okaayyy." Yanno? And i feel bad and I don't want to turn people away from Nomadia and give it a bad name, so I thought i'd be giddy and happy by gathering the masses into the booth and allow Deborah to sell them on shit.

Sometime during the day Kelly came and asked me to make a R.U.B. delivery. When I was on my way back, I look to the Trader's Market Stage and see the drummers set up. Erin calls out "MEEELAHH" and asks if I want to play a drum. I walk over, sit down and get a drum and then the bellydancers come through and we start playing. It was fun. I get back to the booth and I see Jimmy over at the Tobac booth. So I figure that was my chance to have an excusable reason to go over there and try to get the hawker guy's attention and perhaps I can say hi to him and tell him what an uber big crush I have on him. Sure enough, he yells something out and then I look at him and smile like a little girl and he says "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell in your ear" (note emphasis on 'your'). And I go "Oh that's okay, you can yell anytime, it's what made me have an uber big crush on you." And THEN I start babbling like an idiot about how much I love all them at the Tobac booth. And he goes "you have a crush on me? Well I've had a crush on you. I'm always looking over to find you with your pretty clothes and pretty make-up and pretty dreadlocks." and then he kissed my hand and wanted me to kiss his cheek but I spread my fan in front of my face and told him I didn't trust him. And I said something and then looked over at Jimmy, messed with him and then walked away or something like that. But the rest of the day me and Tobac guy (his name was Travis I found out) caught glances to eachother and then I usually did some 12-year old girl thing like run away. Lol.

So all that day was still not feeling the whole people contact thing and decided to clean up the storage container thing because it was messy and was annoying me. I spent 30 minutes straightening up and went back to hang out in the booth. Geh.

FINALLY it was 6pm and we got to close up. I ended up putting all the clothes away which is how I like it since I wanted to really organize it. It all turned out okay. That day I just really wanted to do any job that didn't involve people contact. So after I put all that shit away, I realllly wanted to see Oojam. I went over and hung out for maybe 45 minutes or so. Justin's big boob girl was there and had this whiney clingy voice of "Where's Justin?!" and gawd I wanted to shoot her. She bugs me man. She's way too sprung on Justin and he's just using her and she needs to wake the fuck up. She's totally acting like his girlfriend and tryin to move in on his life, which is why it cracked me up when Justin DID come back, came to me and we started messin around like we do and then started asking me my thoughts on moving in with him. She just had this pouty look on her face. Gawd.

So i was hanging out with everyone and chatting with Erin. She said that the guy she has a crush on, this FUCKING AWESOME EGYPTIAN GUY WHO PLAYS THE DRUM LIKE NO OTHER AND I'M SO FACINATED WITH HOW GOOD HE IS asked for her number. I said oooh ooh oooooh!! I was excited. She's smitten.

I go back to Nomadia. Everything else is cleaned up. Everyone is like GONE though except for Desiree and her two new minions and some other people I think. It gets dark and I decide to get my drum and play on one of the rugs inside the booth. It felt really good. Lucas comes and does his usual flirtation. Homeboy needs to step back though. He's real intense. Him and Zak are a lot alike and it freaks me out and wigs me out and all the other "OUTS." But soon after, Nathaniel comes back and he sits next to me as I play. Lucas goes inside to Desiree and me and Nathaniel talk more. Sometimes I get this huge urge to kiss him and it's horrible. It's just because Nathaniel has been so attentive. I think I may have a minor school girl crush. But Troll guy Bevon came to see Desiree and I went in back to see if I could schmooze my way in there. I find out that Desiree and Bevon have known eachother for a LONNNNG time. That made me happy. And Bevon is crackin jokes with me and being uber awesome and I love the shit out of him and can't wait for a chance to tell him that I've been so obsessed with him since I was like 10 years old. Gawd, same with Moonie and Broon, I can't wait to tell them how long I've been obsessed with them too. Every time I see Moonie, he always double takes me and I swear he recognizes me.

So Robbie calls me and I talk to him a while and tell him to deal with the goodbyes. I say bye to Nathaniel. Give him an uber big hug and tell him how much I love him and I can't wait to see him next weekend la-di-da.

I go in to say bye to everyone else. I say bye ot Desiree and she wants to "talk." I guess she was annoyed with my actions this weekend. Didn't like me herding people into her booth. Thought I was in a bad mood all weekend (when I was bouncing and happy and giddy the whole time). I guess I wasn't hussling enough in the morning and Deborah complained about me and I guess she had to ask me 3 times one day to get inside the booth and stand in a particualr area to help sell shit because she was helping NINE people and no one else was to be found, not Deborah, me or Stephanie (when in fact she asked me ONE time to stand in an area where there was NOBODY inside the booth and do what? she didn't tell me. And I saw her help 3 people TOTAL for the whole weekend, not at one time.) And THEN all she fucking does throughout the day is impose on ME and puts all kinds of fucking stress on me by venting on me, crying to me, and asks me to go to Bali with her and move up to Santa Cruz with her and all this shit and never once thinks that maybe I have my OWN life and my OWN plans and how much I would love to parade the world with her, I have a guy I want to be with, a place I want to go and a life I want to live. And maybe what she's asking of me has been a life's passion of mine and two years ago I would have gladly taken her up on it, but I have school loans to pay back and a degree to get and I just CAN'T be the female version of Todd for her. And she subtly brings up shit like how the totals suck (meaning we suck in Desiree's terms) and she can't make her rent this month and all this sad sad shit that she shouldn't have to do becuase she should be making enough money but she's not. And it's like JESUS FUCKING CHRIST can she make a person feel like ANY more shit? Talk about the hugest guilt trip ever, and I'm supposed to ask to get PAID $400 when she can't make her $1200 rent supposidly. I just hate that she guilt trips people into doing stupid shit. I feel like I'm totally being taken advantage of and it fucking sucks. And how much I would love to work for her next year, it's a LOT of fucking stress. But then again, maybe it's only this season because I actually NEED the money and usually I just work for fun. Hopefully next season I'll be in a better position and then I won't have to feel like she's guilt tripping me into declining money. **HOPEFULLY** jeez.

Anyway, I was annoyed with that. But I called Robbie afterward and we talked for 30 minutes or so trying to kill time since his roomate was gettin it on. Geh. Lol.

So I listened to Prodigy on the way home and stopped by Del taco and got the FATTTIEST veggie works burrito imaginable. Started fallin asleep on the way home. Got home to tell my dad about my weekend, fell asleep at 1am.

That Friday was cool too. It was Marjhani's birthday and fuck I need tomake her present this week. Friday afternoon I went and picked up Erin, we went to Target and it was awesome. We ate at her mom's and turns out she has two litters of kittens that were born and I want to take two home with me. So I'm going to ask dad what he thinks and maybe in 6 weeks or so we're gonna have two new kitties. Yay! And then we hung out at Marjhani's that night. Went to faire the next day. Saturday when I was leaving, I said I wanted to get out of there ASAP because Mrjhani was having a get together henna party thing for her birthday. Well, I'm queen of knowing when to say the wrong thing because Desiree got ALLLL butt-hurt about not being invited. I do that all the time with Desiree, I always mention something about Oojam or something and Desiree just has to impose herself and shit. Anyway, I felt bad because it seems I'm always getting Marjhani into predicaments and obligations with Desiree and I just hope she doesn't get mad at me for not knowing when to shut my mouth.

So Saturday night all the tribe was at the house and we sat around in a circle and told our faire stories. It was awesome because I wasn't sure if I'd be invited to share mine but Marjhani asked for it and I got to tell the story of Miila and it was real bitchin, everyone got a kick out of it.

And that was my weekend. I hope Robbie can make it to the faire next weekend because I would be sooo happy. Hoorah! And hopefully me and Stephanie can go shopping and sheeit. =) yesss.

And then this morning I just woke up feeling weird and semi-depressed. It's gone now, oddly enough, but I think it had something to do with the dream I had last night. I don't remember a lot of it but it was really fuckin realistic. I remember me and Robbie walking around a lake and talking about our relationship and where we wanted to take it and I remember saying the things I wanted to in real life and it was all really realistic in the way it played out, and time wise and shit like that. I dunno why I woke up feeling all geh because it wasn't a bad dream. Maybe there's just a lot of shit on my mind I feel I need to express to Robbie and I'm anxious since I won't see him for at least a week. And maybe I just miss him a lot too. Eh le sigh.

yesterday - tomorrow