Past Affair(s) Conflict.
07.19.2006 - 1:45 pm

Hmm. Contemplation. Greg Thacker called me last night. Me and Robbie went and saw Lorene Drive at SOMA and it was rad because we got to see our friends. I was happy to see Thomas. Kris still seems sketchy to me. I don't think he likes me. And Daniel is always real chill, as well as his girlfriend Lupe.

But anyway, Greg called me. Annnd, for the first time, I expressed to him that I had a boyfriend. He asked what I was up to and I said "livin in San Diego," "Oh yeah? Who you livin with?" "Uhm...[pause] myy boyfriend... in Chula Vista." And he didn't miss a beat, so... I don't know if... he cares... if... he's not phased, maybe thinking I'd be willing to cheat on him? I don't know. I just started thinking about it... he called me to tell me about a show in Santa Monica and wanted me to go. Hmm. I don't think I should be talking to Greg. At all. I think I should not answer whenever he calls. Why am I so drawn to him? Gay.

And then today, Robbie was telling me how that VA girl Shelly called him the night before and he asked her not to call him anymore. He's not ready to associate with her... they "have history." I want to ask more questions, but I don't want to seem jealous or nitpicky. I'm just curious. I always try to relate to people, annnd, I dunno, I really want to relate to Robbie. I just want to know how serious the situation is with this chick. I didn't think it was so much, but... the more I learn about it... the more I realize the calibur of what she meant to him. Hmm. I just want to relate. Or understand. And I like listening to Robbie about that kind of thing. He always seems awkward when talking about shit like that and remember the sadistic in me enjoys his uncomfortableness at times. I dunno... I'm always striving to understand Robbie and his quirks. Everything about him. I just... I feel... I don't know how to put it. A closeness. And a rift. At the same time. I have some ideas of where those feelings come from... and I wonder if the rift can ever be overcome? I don't have an answer for that yet, except maybe through getting to know eachother better. There's still a lot of that we need to do. But I'm enjoying the journey.

So yeah. Relationships. It's been on my mind.

yesterday - tomorrow