I suck.
06.18.2007 - 5:04 pm

I bore my soul to Robbie today and it didn't do much good. I don't think he realizes, or could ever realize, the severity of my masochistic mind. I tried to let him in on my inner most thoughts -- how lately I've just felt like disappearing and that I don't feel apart of the human race at times. How I don't feel right in my own skin and that sometimes death just sounds too tempting.

I think he thinks I'm just a stupid overdramatic drama queen.

I don't think I have anyone in my life who I could connect with on that level -- except for Nathan, and he's dead.

I've borrowed Robbie's video camera to watch old videos of me and Dawn when we filmed everything. It brings back some crazy memories. Fun ass times. I was so ridiculous back then, and Dawn was so ahead of her times. I wish I had the confidence back then like I do now -- I think my life would have come out better. Who knows though...

I feel very lost these days and I don't know how to fix it. I wish I could just find a job so I wouldn't have to stress.

I'm so tired all the time.

Tired.

yesterday - tomorrow